Hell's Chief Mistake
by Drakai
Summary: As he dies, Naruto gets offered a once in an afterlife-time opportunity. He takes it, and does everything he can to make sure it ends up biting Hell in the ass.
1. Chapter 1

Naruto scratched his head as he looked at… himself. Or, rather, it was his body he was looking at.

He was on his way to meet his secret love at her apartment when the mob cornered him, and finally did what they had been trying to do for years. They killed him. Stabbed him with three swords. And he was only ten, dammit.

His attention was drawn to a sudden spire of fire that shot from the ground. The fire took a humanoid shape, with two eyes and a mouth stretched in a most sadistic grin opened.

"Hello, young Naruto."

"Who are you?" Naruto asked with a raised eyebrow.

"You may call me Malebolgia. I am a demon, you see. And I come with a proposition." Naruto made no motion, but the demon continued. "I can send you back, if only you would agree to do me a small favor."

"And what might that be?" Malebolgia's mouth widened into an even bigger grin as he brought a black blob from behind his back in one of his fiery arms. "Just wear this suit. That is all." Naruto narrowed his eyes.

_**Take the offer.**_ He heard a faint voice. Seeing the demon in front of him, he decided to go with his gut and trust the strange voice. Not the brightest idea in most cases, but should work like a charm… Maybe.

"What is it called?" He asked the demon. The blob flew at him and started shifting on impact.

"Very well, I suppose you have a right to know." The blob morphed into a black skin-tight suit with a black facemask, white lines, a red flowing cape and a chain with a skull around his waist. "It's called K7-Leetha. No go back, spawn. You will hear from me when the time is right." The fire receded into the ground and Naruto was once again alone on the street.

Or, maybe not. When he blinked, his surroundings changed from an empty street to and empty sewer. He looked around.

"Disgusting, ain't it?" He turned to his right and saw a small, fat man wearing what looked like a half a clown costume a few numbers too small. "This is your mind. And I'm your handler. You can call me The Violator, Spawn. Come on; let's see what's so important." They came to a large room, the largest in the sewer-like complex. There was a cage there, with a fine black sheath over it. "The sheath's your suit. She's blocking something nasty out."

"_**Maybe so, worm, but not for long." **_Black fire shot out from the cage and hit the suit in the center, rapidly spreading, engulfing the entire thing. All that remained was a black vapor that was sucked into the cage. As the last of the vapor vanished behind the bars, they opened. A man no more than twenty-five years old stepped out, wearing a simple red t-shirt and black jeans, with red hair and eyes. _**"Hello, Violator. It has been a long time."**_ He grinned.

"Kyuubi!" The clown gasped, making the demon's grin widen.

"Wait, Kyuubi?" Naruto was confused.

"_**Yeah, I'm Kyuubi, kid. I'll be with you in a moment. Take a little message to Malebolgia, worm."**_ His voice was low, but threatening, with a slight growl to it. _**"My host is off limits. The next time, I might not be so merciful." **_He launched his killing intent at the clown, making him shiver and disappear. He then turned to Naruto and his voice softened a little. _**"Now then, as I said, I am Kyuubi. I think you should know what happened that day. I was sleeping peacefully in my den in Hell, when I got a visit from Malebolgia. He said he needed my help for something. Naturally, I didn't trust him, but he completely surprised me when he threw a black blob at me. He stood and boasted as I fought the control attempt from what he called the 'K5-Leetha'. I lashed out at him and he ran away, afraid of me, but left the damned blob on me. It somehow triggered my teleportation powers and I appeared in your village. Believe me, I am a peaceful and honorable demon, and I would never attack an unprepared opponent, and especially not women and children. But the damned blob morphed me into a fox and gained just enough control to attack the village. The rest you know. Luckily, when your Hokage sealed me in you, the Shinigami devoured the suit."**_

"Was that you I heard today."

"_**Yeah. I was certain Malebolgia didn't know that I was sealed in you. If he did, he'd never offer you a chance to come back. I was also certain I could kill and absorb the new suit the bastard's been working on. And I have. You now have all its powers, and some of mine. There is only one problem. We're five years from the moment you died. He does it to everyone, I'm afraid."**_

"Kurenai…." He muttered, thinking about his love.

"_**I don't know, I'm sorry. But you can find out. You have an instinctual understanding of the suit, and you only need to imagine the form you want it to take and it will respond. You also have my blackfire ability. Just concentrate."**_ Naruto nodded and turned to leave, his mind still on Kurenai. _**"Don't worry."**_ Kyuubi grasped his shoulder. _**"I'm sure everything will work out perfectly."**_

Naruto found himself on the street again, in the poor section of Konoha. He looked himself over. The suit hadn't changed much, the only difference being the addition of new, spiked red gloves and boots. He jumped on the roof of the building, the suit having enhanced his strength and speed, and shot off.

Kurenai was sitting at a table, a glass of red wine in her hand, and a picture in the other. The picture was of her and Naruto, taken five years ago, the day before he was killed by the villagers. Sarutobi had the assailants put to death, but that was all he could do. The Civilian Council decided that Naruto could not be buried in the cemetery, and there was nothing anyone could do about it. So Kurenai had him cremated, and spread out on the winds from the highest point in the village, the Hokage Tower.

"Happy Birthday Naruto. I wish you were here." She kissed the mouth of the picture and let loose the tears she'd been keeping in for the day.

Naruto frowned from the roof of the opposite building, hating how much pain he was causing to his Kurenai. He was snapped out of thought when he noticed about ten or so people with torches, making their way in a drunken stupor towards Kurenai's appartment. Naruto's eyes narrowed, not that anyone could see it, and he grinned dangerously. "Looks like a nice way to reintroduce myself, eh. They wil not touch her."

The mob broke into her apartment and dragged her in chains through the empty village, shouting things like 'Demon Whore' and 'Making sure the seed doesn't spread'. Kurenai tried to struggle, but she was emotionaly exhausted from the day, and she could do nothign. They dragged her to the park where they already made a small stake ready to burn her alive. They tied her to it. _Maybe I'll get to see Naruto-kun again._ A single Chunnin with white hair approached the stake with his torch.

"Tonigh, we rid ourselfs of the final piece of taint from the demon. Goodbye, bitch." A shadow jumped behind him and yanked him by the head, seperating it from the rest.

"So you're just gonna give up and die?" He spoke to the woman with a familiar voice.

"What else do I have to live for?"

"How about me?" The mask sepperated and showed a fifteen year olf face of Naruto. Kurenai's eyes widened and she tried to reach him, but her hands were tied. He snapped the chains with ease and she fell into his arms, sobbing.

"I..I.. I thought you were dead."

"I was." He comforted her, rubbing her back gently. He then turned to the still-gathered mob. "This is your only warning. Disperse, or I will kill you." The mob exploaded in shours and curses. "I was hoping you'd refuse." He grinned and leaned Kurenai on a tree in the park, the slowly walked to the people, whowere arming themselves, with sticks, broken bottles and the like. They all charged at once, the heavy alcohol they had been drinking during the day still effecting them. He slaughtered them effortlessly, cleaving their head off and shoving his hands through their bodies. When he did the job, he turned to the shadows, mask still off. "I was wondering when you'd come." Five Anbu jumped out into the open, the one with the viper mask heading to Kurenai, embracing her. The dog masked one turned to Naruto.

"Is it really you, Naruto?"

"Come with me, all six of you, and you will see for yourself."


	2. Chapter 2

Sarutobi stared at Naruto, who stared back at him. Behind the boy were the five Anbu members from before and Kurenai.

"You're serious?"

"Yes."

"So you really did die?"

"You think I'd leave the village for five years and not tell Kurenai about it?" Sarutobi nodded his head.

"So now your, what, _un_dead?"

"Oh, no, no, I'm quite alive. Just… enhanced."

"So there's this fire demon who offers the dead a chance to come back." Sarutobi puffed a smoke from his pipe.

"Only the violently killed."

"Right. Only to push them back five years in the future, screw up their lives and put them under his control. That about right?"

"More or less, yeah."

"And Kyuubi, who is a good demon, took over this suit and freed you from the control of the fire demon. Am I missing anything here?"

"Just that now the minions of the fire demon will be after me."

"Ah."

"You know, you're taking this a lot better than I expected." Sarutobi just puffed another smoke from his pipe. "Never mind, I got it."

"So, you want to be a Special Jounnin?"

"Sure." The old man threw him the headband. Naruto tore off the plate and absorbed it into the suit. A metal insignia of the Leaf appeared on his chest.

"Now get, I have paperwork to do."

The five Anbu flickered out of the office. Naruto and Kurenai turned to the door.

"You know, it's just a thought, but have you ever considered using clones to do the work." The two left Sarutobi to blink owlishly after them.

"Well, se you tomorrow." Naruto said to Kurenai outside the tower and turned in the direction of his apartment building, only for her to grab his hand.

"Oh no you don't. I just got you back after five years. You're moving in with me." Naruto smiled at her.

"Yes dear."

A week later Sarutobi called all the Jounnin in his office.

"Next to me is the list of this year's graduates. I'd like to hear if anyone has any preferences. Except for you Kakashi, you get the Uchiha."

"But I don't wanna!" Everybody snickered at him.

"Tough luck, that's punishment for being so late all the time. You can choose the other two." Kakashi crossed his arms and looked away.

"Kakashi, are you… pouting?" Naruto raised an eyebrow.

"No. I'm sulking." He and Kurenai sweat dropped.

"Ok. Kurenai?"

"Actually, I'd like to a capture and interrogation team. So, I'd like Hinata, Shikamaru and Ino."

"Hm… That'll break up the Ino-Shika-Cho formation."

"Which is a good thing." Naruto said.

"Exactly, which is a… wait, what?"

"Hear me out. You've had the Ino-Shika-Cho formation for at least three generations, and the last one, the fathers of the Gennin in question if I'm not mistaken, have made it really popular. With popularity comes knowledge, and with knowledge comes understanding. So say that you send another Ino-Shika-Cho formation into the world. What's to stop an enemy ninja from doing some research into the tactics of the previous formations and come up with a strategy to combat theirs, which, I'm sad to say, has yet to change. After all, the fact that something worked the last time is no guarantee that it'll work again." The Hokage hummed as he rubbed his beard.

"And what do you suggest?"

"Give Kurenai her capture and interrogation team. Shikamaru is there for strategy and capture, Hinata for locating and disabling the target, and Ino for interrogation. Next assemble a tracker squad with a frontal attack member, meaning Kiba Inuzuka, Sakura Haruno and Shino Aburame and give them to Hana Inuzuka, who is an accomplished tracker herself. Kiba and Shino have a lot of potential as trackers and Sakura, as I've heard, has superb chakra control, so she could be an excellent medic."

"Wouldn't she be better with the Uchiha?" One Jounnin asked.

"No. While the team with the Uchiha would most likely be a frontal assault team, I've also hear she has an obsessive-compulsive disorder, so the last thing we do is put her with the object of her obsession."

"And for the Uchiha's team?"

"Well, normally we'd put the Uchiha in a frontal attack team with his affinity to Ninjutsu, but this is a special case."

"How so?" Asuma asked.

"This particular Uchiha is a raving ego maniac with both a superiority and an inferiority complex. So we have to be very careful with selecting his team, so we minimize the damage he could do to other potential Gennin. If we put him with Hinata, her low self-confidence would allow him to take charge and will slowly crush the poor girl. Sakura is out because she would instantly agree with everything the Uchiha said while shouting out that he is the greatest, thus inflating his ego even more. We could put him with Shikamaru do to his lazy attitude, but the Uchiha would instantly become jealous of his intellect, not to mention the fact that Shikamaru inherited unwillingness to follow stupid orders from his mother. Next, Sasuke and Kiba would spark an instant rivalry, but the Uchiha would, once again, become jealous of the Inuzuka's inherent speed and agility. And he'd get jealous of Shino's insects too, so he's out. What we do is put him with Chouji Akamichi and Sai, last name unknown. Chouji is laid back and easy going, it'd take a lot from the Uchiha to rile him up, but at the same time he's stronger, and Sasuke knows it, so he won't push things too far. Hopefully. That Sai kid is a robot in almost every sense of the word, so he fits in that category too. And we put Asuma as their sensei for the same reasons."

"No. Kakashi must be put on Sasuke-sama's team so Sasuke-sama can learn how to use his Sharingan from him when he awakens it." One of the Uchiha supporter Jounnin from the back shouted.

"That is both insane and stupid. First of all, who taught Kakashi to use his Sharingan? If he could figure it out, than the Uchiha can too. And secondly, how do you think the spoiled brat will react when he finds out. He'll demand the eye and all of Kakashi's one thousand gathered Ninjutsu as compensation for stealing. No, Asuma is calm, cool and collected and it's more than likely that he'll piss off the Uchiha than the other way around."

"And you, Naruto?"

"I'll be assistant sensei to Kurenai's team." Sarutobi thought about it for a few moments before nodding his head in agreement.

"Then, that's how it'll be. You're dismissed. Naruto, stay a moment." When the other Jounnin left, Sarutobi opened a locked drawer in his desk and gave Naruto a silver ring with a fire-red kanji for 'fire' emblazoned on it.

"But old man, isn't this….?"

"Yeah, it is. I want you to come to my office every day after finishing with your team to learn the ropes of the job, and you'll take the hat at the Finals of the Chunnin Exams."


	3. Chapter 3

"Well, congratulations are in order for finally graduating from the Academy." Iruka spoke to the gathered Gennin on their last day of school. "That being said, if you have any problems or questions in the future, my door will always be open for you." He smiled at them. "Now onto the teams.

"Gee, I hope I get to be with my Sasuke-kun." Sakura muttered to Ino, who was unfortunate enough to be seated next to her.

"Yeah, you do that."

"You're just jealous that I'll likely be the one on the team with him, while you're left with Lazy-boy and Food-boy."

"No. I'm _really _not."

"Yeah, yeah, keep telling yourself that."

"Shut up, it's our turn."

"Team Seven will consist of Hinata Hyuuga, Shikamaru Nara and Ino Yamanaka as a Capture/Interrogation team led by Kurenai Yuuhi, with Naruto Namikaze acting as assistant Sensei."

"Ha, your Sensei will be so pathetic that she'll need someone to hold her hand all the way." Sasuke arrogantly smirked at Ino, while she just scowled at him. He was suddenly hit by a very strong killing intent coming from somewhere on the other side of the door. He shuddered, but held his air of pseudo-indifference.

"Now then." Iruka paused to send a glare at the Uchiha, which the would-be avenger ignored. "Team Eight will consist of Sakura Haruno." She crossed her fingers and prayed to the first god she could think of. "Shino Aburame." Her fingers got a whitish hue. "And Kiba Inuzuka as a Tracking squad under Hana Inuzuka." Kiba gulped while Sakura yelled out in despair.

"But I want to be with Sasuke-kun."

"Shut up. The Hokage was the one who came up with the teams. If you want to complain, you know where his office is. Just be warned, he really doesn't like being told what to do by a _Gennin_." Iruka snapped at her, shutting her up.

"And finally, since Team Nine is still in circulation from last year, Team Ten will consist of Sai, Chouji Akamichi and Sasuke Uchiha as an Assault team under Asuma Sarutobi. Your Jounnin instructors will be here shortly. Goodbye and good luck." He gathered his papers and left the room.

A few moments after he left, four people walked through the door.

"Team Ten." The first man said. He was rather tall with brown hair and a beard, and an ever present cigar between his lips. "Meet me on the roof." He disappeared in the standard Konoha _**Shunshin**_. Sasuke, Sai and Chouji got up and walked out the door, but as they passed the blond at the end of the line he brought his fist hard onto the Uchiha's head, sending him crashing to the floor. He got up, cradling his injured cranium, and glaring daggers at the blond.

"Do _not _insult my girlfriend." He sent the smallest amount of killing intent at the Gennin. Unfortunately for the Uchiha, the Kyuubi decided to enhance that amount with his own, so Sasuke was sent running through the door with a brown stain on his pants.

"Dickless sure is an idiot." Sai muttered to Chouji, who nodded his head. They both shrugged and left the room.

"Team Eight, with me." The brown-haired woman with a ponytail and tattoos on her cheeks was next. Kiba sharply got up from his seat and filed out the door. The black haired woman giggled and the blond grinned.

"You've got the squirt trained good, Hana." Hana grinned at him and left the room.

"Team Seven, you're with us." The woman with wild black hair and red eyes, dressed in a bandage-dress, motioned to the three Gennin. The man besides her was tall with blond hair and blue eyes, with whisker marks, dressed in a simple black t-shirt with a red flame on the front and black jeans. The two walked out the door and led their Gennin to the nearby dango shop. The tree Gennin sat on the opposite side of the older couple. "Why don't we start with introductions." The woman looked at the blond, who shrugged. "Ok, I'll go first. My name is Kurenai Yuuhi. I like dango, Genjutsu, red wine and Naruto. I dislike sour foods and people who insult Naruto. My hobbies are training and studying Genjutsu. My dream for the future is to be the best Genjutsu mistress in Konoha." She smiled at Ino. "Your turn."

"My name is Ino Yamanaka. I like my friends, my family, flowers and psychology. I dislike Sasuke and Sakura. My hobbies are training studying psychology and working at my parents' shop. My dreams for the future are to be the head of the Torture and Interrogation division of Konoha." Kurenai nodded and motioned to Hinata.

"My name is Hinata Hyuuga." The girl stuttered out. "I like my family and flower pressing. I dislike people who look down on others. My hobbies are flower pressing. My dream for the future is to be a good head of my clan and unite the two families."

"Troublesome." Shikamaru muttered when he was told to go next. "My name is Shikamaru Nara. I like sleeping and watching clouds. I dislike troublesome things. My hobbies are cloud watching and playing Shogi, and sometimes Go or chess. My dream for the future is to be an average Chunnin, with an average looking wife and two kids, first a girl, then a boy, and then to retire when my son reaches Chunnin rank."

"Well, you have it all planned out." The blond commented, making Shikamaru shrug. "And I am Naruto Namikaze. I like Kurenai-chan and anything that has to do with Kurenai-chan. And fighting, also. I dislike people who dare insult my girlfriend and assholes. My hobbies are training and fighting. And my dream for the future is to lead this village and have a big family."

"And now that we know each other, I guess I'll have to tell you three aren't technically Gennin yet."

"What do you mean, Sensei?" Ino asked while Shikamaru had a calculative look on his face.

"Well, out of all you kids that graduated only three teams will actually be doing any missions." Naruto said. "If the Gennin test was that easy, everyone'd be dead by now." He grunted as Kurenai elbowed him in the ribs.

"Behave Naruto-kun. We'll meet tomorrow at eight in the morning on Training Ground Seven. Don't be late, and don't forget to prepare tonight and eat breakfast." The two disappeared in a burst of flames, leaving the three Gennin alone in the shop.

"Excuse me, sir." The waiter said as he approached Shikamaru. "The blond man said you would cover the bill." He handed the bill to the Gennin.

"What the…" Shikamaru looked around to see that Hinata and Ino had also left. "Ugh, troublesome."

**Also, I have a new Twitter acount, on which I will be posting updates and maybe even new ideas. Check it out, the name's Drakai07, the pic is the same as my profile for FanFiction.**


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